C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
