I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
