i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
