My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
