I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
