her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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