Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
there is glitter all over my balls
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