We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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