Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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