"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize