I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
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