Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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