All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
