So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
COCAINE IS GR8
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Randomize
