He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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