By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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