I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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