I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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