I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I am one with the molecules
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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