I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
