I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
