the condom got lost in my hair
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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