Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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