If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
i think im in europe. pls send help
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
