He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
