but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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