Duck Duck Cougar?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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