I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
