I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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