Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
