what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
