he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
