thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
