Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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