in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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