You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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