I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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