is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
It's shark week go big or go home
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
