I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
