plz talk dirty to me
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize