Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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