you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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