So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize