I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
