I want to walk on stilts...naked
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
