Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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