Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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