Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Oh god it's open bar.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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