We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize