So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize