You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize