That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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