wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Randomize
