fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
