I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
