why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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