Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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