Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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