have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Randomize
