I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
