New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
