My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
