why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
