and i looked up. we had an audience...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
