He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
